The violence- love axis: fcuk the pharmacist

Its been 3 days(came back sunday evening) and I haven't yet absorbed the experience that was the mara. I'm still ummm... lemme see, whats the word...yeah, fazed! Will try to keep this short, but do bear with me if my efforts prove unsuccessful. Anyway,Lemme start at the beginning:

Day 1 (Wednesday) 7.30pm: arrive at the mara after 6 tiring hours on the road, check into the camp, enjoy an absolutely scrumptuous 3 courser, retire to the double room, crack open a bottle of whiskey, chug down a sizeable amount of it, tactfully spurn the repeated sexual advances from the ex, feign sleep, she eventually falls asleep, I thank my lucky stars for yet another day of respite, sneak into the bathroom, run a hot bath, soak for about 2hrs, creep into bed, sleep!


Day 2: 6.30 AM: Wake up with a start to find the ex's paws stroking on my morning-glad to be alive-stiffy, Jump out of bed like her hand was a king cobra, distract her with the fact that we'd be late for the game drive, shoot into the shower before she can say 'sex', shower, shoot back out of if before she can unpack her shampoo and shower gel, dress up, brush teeth, smoke a cigarette at the balcony, wait 10 mins till she's done changing, walk to the dining area, wolf down bacon, eggs, sausages,tea and fruit salad, find maasai guide.

7.30 am: the Game drive: TOTALLY ROCKS!!! savannah flora, savannah fauna- elephant, kudu, hippo, giraffe, hyena, croc and them, no big cats- slightly disappointing, endure sexual overtures from the ex, return to camp.


12.10 pm: aperitif then lunch

1.30 pm: imbibe several Postprandial restoratives,chat, deflect even more aggressive overtures with the promise of wild and passionate sex in later that evening, swim, nap

4.30pm: evening game drive- pretty much the same as the morning one.

7.30 pm:Dinner- generous and well laid out buffet- nice, return to room.

9.00pm: Crack open another bottle of whisky, generously irrigate our parched throats, Im tipsy, she's tipsy, more determined, more intense sexual overtures from her, she walks into the bathroom, I sigh with relief.


10.15-ish:THE RECKONING PART 1:
She walks out of the bathroom with only a towel around her waist- penis registers nothing.
She does her sensual lapdance thing- still, no response.
We kiss- a barely perceptible tingle.
we make out- blood begins to course, erection- sub-optimal.
fellatio- 5 minutes, erection- sub-optimal, fellatio- 10 minutes- still sub-optimal.
She gives up, I apologise, she's disappointed, I tell her that I'm only tired, I promise to pleasure and please the next day, I know that Im lying,we drink, we smoke,we talk, we bond, we chill, she sleeps, I'm HAPPY!



Day 3:11.45am:Hangover, we've missed breakfast and the morning game drive!- DRAT!

1.00pm: Lunch- nice, we talk, we're friends, Im cool!

2.00pm: conversation and bonding: she sez the mara experience feels empty without sex, I promise to please.

4.00pm-ish: on my suggestion we finish off previous nights whiskey, crack open another bottle, we drink it, sip it, gulp it, consume it, imbibe it, ... A successful and subtle subterfuge.

7.00pm ( I think)- alcohol induced emesis merges into alcohol induced coma.

Day 4:7.30 am: Hangover, breakfast, Find guide, game drive, see pride of lions with a kill (close
range)- awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1.00pm- 7.00pm: she's more than optimistic about our forthcoming sexual encounter, otherwise- largely uneventful.


9.00pm: THE RECKONING PART 2....
after moderate drinking, she pops into the shower, I secretly pop a pill of V then pop into the shower with her (spurred on by the pangs of guilt).
heavy kissing, heavy petting, penis still registers nothing, Im ambivalent, she's
disappointed, we leave the shower,
more heavy kissing and making out, suddenly, erection- 100%
fellatio- erection 110%
more fellatio- erection 150 fcuking percent, feels like the muthafcuka's about to
explode!!!!!!
I lose it!, I pull, I push, I thrust, I fcuk, I fcuk, She screams, I dont care, She cries, I dont care, I fcuk, she begs, I fcuk. I smack, she's crying, she tells to stop, I ignore her, I moan obsceneties, I fcuk! I fcuk!................... I come! I'm back to myself........... She's still crying, I hear her crying, I hate myself........she sobs....... I loathe myself............she sniffs............I abhor myself..........WHAT HAVE I DOOOOONE???? I'm a fcuking rapist!..........She's sobbing, sniffing and crying............she turns to me, she whimpers:
"I love you *sob* and I really dont wanna be without you *sob* sob*, I don't want us to be over anymore * sniff* you're my soulmate!"