The Outing

So there I was, dressed to impress in dark blue levi's, a brilliant white shirt and my tried and tested blue and white chucks- In short, looking sexy as a muthafucka.- I had to! Twas officially going to be the first day of the hunt! (kinda like in big cat diaries when the young lion cub goes for its first hunt) I was resolved to have some meaningful homosexual interaction.

Frankly, I was sick and tired of knowing the truth and doing nothing about it. Twas to be the day that some guy at gypsies will forever remember i.e. the day he met and had a conversation with kye!

The plan was simple: kick it with the boys for a bit, choke down a coupla stiff whiskys until tipsy then ooze out of their presence under the ruse that I was urgently required by my sister (who would just happen to be at gypsies), ... A solid plan (I thought).

Met up with the boys and we decided that our usual haunt (buffet park) was outta the question- too drab!

One of the boys, I'll call him BLAM (Big, Loud Alpha Male) Suggested that we hit Tamasha ( the one near carnivore) cuz he'd heard that its bursting at the seams with naive, fine young debutantes (his exact words were 'young chips funga bitches' but I guess the meaning is nearly the same)

Anyway, we kicked it till like midnight at which point I decided to execute the plan.

As soon as I mentioned the word 'gypsies' all four of them (especially BLAM and GOGTOG (GOds Gift TO Girls) burst into some of the loudest and most distressing laughter Ive heard interspersed with a coupla incriminations directed at me (which I vehemently denied), followed promptly by some of the most deliberate and concerted gay-bashing I've ever heard. Note:These were not your usual run-of -the-mill remarks against homosexuals that the boys generally get into whenever the topic comes up. This was tirade after tirade, insult after insult, and the bastards just wouldn’t stop!

I knew the insults were not aimed at me (I'm as straight as a fukcing arrow as far as they know) but it sure felt like it!

I dont know, maybe they were just being the boys they've always been and its my sensibilities that have changed but I just couldnt take it!

I barely managed to keep a stiff upper lip about the whole thing and told the boys that I was leaving.

By the time I got to the whip, I was seething with rage ( I hope none of the boys noticed) and as soon as I drove out, I totally lost it and burst into tears... Tears? Me? I still don't get it!!!! I havent cried since the patriots lost the superbowl and that was like 2 years ago!

Anyway, I drove straight home cuz I could neither flit nor flirt and it'd probably be a waste of time If I did go to gypsies. Perhaps next weekend... but I'm still trying to figure out why I reacted like that.

Curious list #1: Homosexuality 101

The past coupla weeks have been crazier than daffy duck on speed! I don't even know where to begin... as a matter of fact, I think I'd rather NOT begin! Suffice it to say that in the land of fools, cowards and bitch made punks I reign supreme! I shall say no more today... Tis the first opportunity I've had to spend some much needed quality time with myself and that's precisely what I intend on doing. Today I will be random and by the way, tomorrow I will whine, wail, curse and complain.

As I believe I've mentioned before, I've been 'straight' all my life and have only recently allowed the true nature of my concupiscence to prevail. Concordantly, I pretty much have had zero interaction with anyone gay. and i know close to nothing about it.
I've carried out intense and exhaustive research but, well..., gay porn just doesnt have the answers to most of my questions.
I'm writing today cuz Im hoping that yalls might...I ask that you forgive me my blonde ignorance though.

So, here's my FIRST curious list:

1-How and where do I begin?
2-How does one generally go about meeting guys in Nairobi?
3-What and whom should I be wary of?
3-Should I do the chatting up or expect to be chatted up?
4-Is it sufficient to trust my gaydar or are there other ways to tell if a bloke is gay?
5-Should I hope that I naturally send out 'gay vibes' or are there certain things
i should do to (for lack of a better phrase)-put myself out there?
6-What are the basics that I need to learn?
7-which are the cool pro-gay clubs in nairobi?
8-is it alright to meet guys in clubs anyway?
9-I find that Im attracted to only a specific sort of dude... this is normal isn't it?
10-SEX: how now?
11-SEX: what are the must do's and don't ever's?
12-Will I inevitably develop certain effeminate traits or can I just stay me?
13-Is there a gay community in kenya? How's it stratified? socially/economically/agewise?
14-any other must knows?