It is what it is!

How do I make a start? How do I muster up the courage to splash into the unfamiliar water that is homosexuality? I never really felt like I was in the closet...maybe its because the closet was somewhere in the dark, repressed recesses of my mind. Now that its at the fore, and I now know that I'm right in it, now that I'm beginning to understand and embrace my sexuality, I realise that I cant breathe! It feels like i have a fcuking pneumothorax.. its dark, damp, I'm scared, I'm sweating and Im alone...so alone!
I have many friends, but there's no one I could talk to and it sucks! I wish to god that I had a gay friend- Ive never even had a conversation with a gay dude- how fcuked up is that?!
I know it'd really help if I did though, ... at least there'd be someone standing right beside me in it or even on the other side of the closet that i could to talk to. Anyway, it is what it is! A series of stiff restoratives should fix me right up... for a couple of hours at least!