THE CHRONICLES OF A CYBERHUNTER. season 1 episode 1

Alot has changed over the past coupla months. I've steadily grown from repression to denial then from denial to realization and I now find myself growing past simple realization into acceptance, understanding and learning..


And it is during this period of learning that I have noticed certain changes... it started with body chills, sleepless nights and restless days, followed by spontaneous, uncontrollable erections ( yes, priapism!) these, all brought on by the primordial need for companionship and desire for all the benefits therein.. And one morning, I awoke to find that I had morphed into an unfamiliar being...The cool, geeky, mild mannered Kye was gone and In his stead, there lay KYE-THE GO-GETTER or is it GO-GET-HIM-CYBERHUNTER!


It all started about two weeks ago when the coolest dude ( mad shout out to dvdmugambi!!!!!) who's also gay I might add, randomly decided out of the depths of his cool, caring, chivalrous, compassionate and consoling, heart to give a brotha some useful advice on homosexuality...you know..the do's and the dont's.
He suggested that I use Gaydar .co.uk to meet people but however stressed the need for caution.
As soon as I logged in I was astonished... scratch that..astounded...no, scratch that...flummoxed..no that's not it...I was fuckin stupefied!
I had no inkling, no idea that the Gay world -in Kenya that is, was so vast! I'm like what in the name of prometheus' pubes is this!
I truly had no idea that there existed so many different types of gay!
Bears = Hairy men..I think
twinks ... still dunno
Preppies -  Me..I think
Geeks - definitely me
Bikers
Chubbies
Clubbers
Farmers
Footballers ...and the list goes on


And the types of fetishes....what!!!!!! I'm talking armpits to kilts to frottage, rubber pvc and masks. And the sexual activities???
Suffice it to say that I've always considered myself a bit of a freak but I now see the folly in my thinking.Here are but a few; You'll understand what I'm saying:


Breath Control- This is Dangerous! ask David carradine(God rest his soul)
CBT- whats this?
Cottaging- sounds sophisticated
Electro- ??
Glory Holes- any one care to elaborate?
Masters & Dogs- as in literally?
Rimming- nice
Vacuum Pumping- Nah, I dont even believe this happens
Wrestling- hmmm
Fisting- ........................need i say more? 

Anyway, I digress!
The long and short of it is that I'm learning..... Im growing.....My eyes are beginning to open.- For example, I hadn't thought much about my role,
Ive learned that I am possibly an Active/ versatile....I've learned that I'M not every guys type  ( Imagine my surprise and chagrin!!..) Most importantly I've learned that I don't have to rush into anything...cuz I'm not the only virgin gay in Nairobi!
I've chatted with more than a coupla guys- some nice , some average and some downright scary!
Point is, I realise that I need not worry anymore about making gay friends Or meeting someone...Cuz If I really want to, and if my vetting process is sufficiently on point, I KNOW that I eventually will- It's a wonderful feeling I tell you!
I now realise that this journey has only just began, I see that this can and will be one heck of a ride- If I stop holding back!!!!
Fuck being shy and conservative! All hail KYE- THE GO GET HIM CYBERHUNTER and mad love to dvdmugambi- You're officially one of the chosen few to get to cooler-than-a-polar-bears-toe-nails on my cool-o-meter!
And finally, In tribute to my new found bravado and to all those sexual predator type fucks that keep sending me sexually aggressive mail...I present....... drum-roll please...... MY TUSH!

And now I'm curious....For those who have one, feel free to gimme a rating on your Tush-o-meter, 

butt-o-meter or whatever it is you call your scale..

Please?How? now?

Befor e I begin, I ask that yalls forgive my ineloquency –is there such a word? for im 6 sheets to the wind or rather, higher than snoop dogg on a plane at cruising altitude! (patent pending on that simile) anyhooooooooooo. As we’ve already established . Im drunk-en-ish and figuresd I might as well share shit before I forget it…….
I kicked it with a twice removed boy of mine (twice removed = friend youre cool with through another friend) today. He sed that he needed to sip up and drown his sorrows cuz his long term girlfriend has just recently left the country for a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time and being the sucker for any random opportunity to restore the tissues with a stiff whisky that I am, I jumped on it like kriss kross ( patent pending)
So, I get to nakumatt ukay and find that he’s already purchased a bottle of grant’s whisky ( not bad)! He’s in a bad way so we drink up in the whip and talk about his girlfriend-departed for like two hours. I’m all supportive and shit until about halfway through the bottle when all of a sudden I realize that I can’t stop looking at his lips I really try to fight it but I cant stop looking at his lips…. Why must he keep licking them all the muthafuckin time? Why Hadnt I noticed this before? Or had I? Is it a thing he always does and am I just noticing it now? How now is it that I wanna grab his shirt collar kiss him? How now can I be fantasising about mutual fellatios? Some buuuuullshit I think, so I Excuse myself, dash off to the bathroom ( still at ukay) then tell him( rather impatiently) that we have to roll out to a club or something like that. We get to havanna / bacchus and beep beep beep beeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep -my gaydar is going off like crazy,,,,,and its not just all in my drunkrn randy mind…….Its for real! Mad eye contact from a a coupla potentially gay dudes in the spot….- I’m excited! I try to be as “gay” as possible- as if my lingering eye contact is not enough but nothing!….. dudes still keep stealing glances at me like they dunoo wsup!!!!! ( maybe I dunno wsup) Maybe theyre waiting for me to hala at them…. No fukcin way!!!!They must be tripping! Kye’s the hot boy! ( I know… shallow much!)
Through the whole thing, Mr. twice removed is still giving me his soapy. Soppy relationship storos and a coupla whisky’s later, I’m back to thinking about how much I wanna literally suck the life outta his ever-fuckin wet lips-( why the fuck does he keep licking his lips while he talks to me? It all in my gay ass mind? We kick it and I do whatever I can to hide my lascivious longings. We eventually got bored by the cacophony that is havvana/ bacchus and went back to ukay and sipped another half of grants whisky…. I totally wierded the poor soul out with a prolonged hug- (I seldom hug the boys) when we were parting ways. And had I been a tot or two drunker. I just may have tried to kiss the dude!
How now I ask… How now???????? I scare myself
Nite yalls!

A page from my slumbook '09 part one

Today I was sorting out my memorabilia drawer...you know, - the one where you keep your love letters, poems and shit from primary and secondary
school, the one you go to when you wanna remember where you've come from and who you were... yeah- that drawer! So I stumbled upon my standard
5 'slumbook' ... remember those? I know - total throwback memory! Anyway, It got me thinking about what Im really looking for in a man, so I thought I'd
write it down in a pseudo slum book format. Thus:

Name: Kye Kim
Age: Mid twenties
Sex: Male
Favourite food: Bloody steak with baked jacketed potates and mushroom sauce.... others
Favorite music: Indie rock and roll, Piano rock...others
E.T.C: View my profile
Dream guy: See below.

Physicalities:
His visage:
I really dunno what he'd look like cuz there are just too many variables to consider. he'd have to be attractive ( at least to me) but whats certain is that he wouldn't be bearded. Pehaps goateed, moustached, or even clean shaven but bearded- I dunno!

His Height:
He'd be average. you know...somewhere between 5'5 and 5'11. Im not really a stickler for height, that is, as long as its not in the extremes -I find that I feel a certain inquietude around really tall and really short people )

His Physique: In this department, he'd probably be average too. I'm thinking either fit and lean or slightly, just slightly chubby I find both these varieties of average very attractive. More importantly though, he'd have to be comfortable in his own skin! I think self confidence and love of self = Sexy

Race: Again, I'm at a loss. Skin color doesnt really matter. As long as its smooth- I'm a sucker for exteroception...and touchy feely like a muthafukca ( in private though)
I have to admit a certain partiality for dark skin though, so he'd probably be dark- chocolate dark- Nice!
Regardless of what race he'd be, a lovely butt would be definitely totally come through!!!!!!

Personality:
This I need to explore all on its own. For now, Here's the summary:
He gatsta have all general sensibilities of a good human being you know: caring, loving, kind *yawn* patient *yawn*...all that lonely hearts column stuff..but
most importantly, he'd havta be a sanguine, positive and happy person. Negativity sucks! He'd also have to be mentally stimulating- thats a big one!
He'd appreciate the arts, love his literature and gatsta live his life for his passion- no matter what it is. Emotional independence is another biggy! Few things suck more than being with a person who can't handle their feelings and need to be told how and what to feel.

To be continued... Its 10.22pm and I must heed my cravings and attend to the call of the single malt whiskey that awaits me somewhere in this lovely, lush and lurid Nairobi of ours!